01 February 2010

In Memoriam - Hie Sem Bun

My father in law has passed away last Monday, 25 Jan 2010, about 9:30pm. On his last 2 days, both his foot were swollen, and his breathing is deep and with sound. Worried about him, we wanted to call a doctor to check on him, since he can't go to the doctor's place. But the doctor can't come that night. Suddenly he said something like he wanted to pee, then after finish he wanted to lie down, and suddenly he's "sleeping". Pi was holding his hands and calling out to him, but there was no response.

After few minutes, we called an ambulance, which I thought will come in like.. 3-5 minutes time ( just like taxi does!) but apparently they take 10-15 minutes. The next thing happened just like in a movie. They tried to do CPR for him for quite long (about 15 mins), but to no avail. They informed us that there was no pulse already, but they brought him to NUH Emergency, with pi and my MIL accompanying him. At NUH, they were waiting for a loooooong time before finally the doctor announce that my FIL had passed away. After that was a loong series of questions from the police, the body was sent to SGH to check cause of the death, etc. Pi went home at about 1 am that night, and must go again early in the morning to see the police for another long series of waiting and processes.

Luckily my MIL was full of preparation already. She has booked the funeral service (which she get to know from the mama-shop shopkeeper, and she has also prepared the white clothes, and clothes for my FIL to wear when he passed away. So the person came and talk about all the things needed.

The body reached our HDB void deck on Tuesday afternoon, about 2 pm. The void was already setup for funeral (yellow color), with tables and chairs, and many food for praying, and also many many paper money and paper things to be burned. There were a ceremony that I don't really understand, but just need to do whatever the person ask us to do. Kneel down, pray pray pray, pretend to wash, give him food, etc. Not long after, the body was placed inside the coffin, and it was sealed.

By right the body should be cremated on Wed morning, but we didn't manage to get queue number. Apparently it was a "hot" date! So we get it only on Thurs morning, and that means we have a 2 days 2 night wake.

Some of pi's relatives come to pay him last visit, and my parents came too. Other than that, not many people coming, mainly also because pi's not informing his friends about it.

On the first night, luckily there were someone who volunteered to keep wake the whole night for us. But for 2nd night, he can't help, so we have to take turns. Pi & I was awake until about 3:30 am. By right it should be until 4 - 5 am, but apparently Vio was crying, looking for me. He didn't want to sleep even when Nai2 & Kuku2 try to make him sleep again. So we went up to sleep and my MIL, SIL, and my maid goes down to the wake.

The next morning, we went to Mandai, where the crematorium service was. Unexpectedly, the place was really nice! It looks more like hotel, rather than crematorium.. We watched as the coffin was sent to the "oven", after that went back home to rest. After few hours, we went back there again, this time is to collect the ash. From there, we went directly to Changi, taking a small boat to throw the ash to the sea. Afterall, it was what my FIL wanted.

It was Vio's first time taking a boat, actually. And we thought that he'll be excited. But apparently, he fell asleep in the taxi, all the way through the boat ride. Just after we went down from the boat, he wake up! Aiyoh.... so he can't "enjoy" his first boat ride.. hehehee..

Here's the last photo of my FIL, taken with my MIL on their 33th Wedding Anniversary last January. I haven't got the chance to show it to them yet, I wanted to frame it first so they can display it in their room. But now he can't see it already :(

33 Years

When I first met him, he was already down with Parkinsons disease. He had it for the last 10+ years, and the condition was getting worse and worse. The surprising thing was, the condition getting much worse very quickly ever since he moved to SG (we initially thought his condition will improve here, with the good environment and all). But it's just the nature of the disease, can't be cured and can only get worse each day.

I don't normally talk much with him, partly also because sometimes I don't really catch what he's trying to say, so other people need to repeat again what he wanted to say. But from what I know, these are some points about him:

  • Love massages, and must be really hard before he can feel it

  • A friendly guy who loves to laugh

  • Cares a lot about how he looks. If he wants to step out of the house (even just walking pass the front door), must make sure he has comb his hair nicely

  • Shave daily (since he cares a lot about how he looks)

  • Only wants to eat the food that he has eaten during his childhood time. That means he won't take pizza, pasta, etc.

  • Loves egg tarts and spinach

  • Very much believe the old-tales kind of thing, which sometimes kind-of ridiculous like: babies cannot go near trees as trees have spirits, babies clothes cannot be hang overnight: dry or not dry, must put inside the room. 


reffine said...

nana, my deepest condolence to you and your family..

a0z0ra said...

Sorry to hear that, turut berduka cita ya :(

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